So yeah, haven’t posted anything in a long time. Been busy and all. Some things have changed while others stay the same. Things that have changed: got a kinect for my 360, use it once and have t since; turned 18, that was pretty spiffy; got offered an internship at a machine shop which is pretty awesome. Things that have stayed the same: my car still doesn’t run( after a week working on it), the Mass Effect series is still the best on the planet lol; and I still miss the one person who probably has no idea how I really do feel about her. We still “talk” occasionally and whenever we’re in the same room we acknowledge each other and say hello but that’s about it really. I even tried having another relationship other then her to try and let her go but it ended up with a week of me missing her even mor then usual and the person I was dating to end up not talking to me. Hell I even compared the girl I started dating to the one that I’m still at this point missing. Sounds pretty terrible now how I wrote it, but it was like personality wise not like cup size or anything. Lol. but yeah, pretty much just trying to distract myself with my car and video games. Awesome right?
Nothing like the Christmas season and weddings to make you remember what you though you had and wish you still had it.
Tumblr is too full of people who go onto random people blogs, read a few of there posts and think they know exactly what a persons life is like and judge them accordingly. If you are one of these people and are reading this I would like to ask you to kindly put yourself in the shoes of the person you’re judging. Think about the things you may not know about the person, think about the reasons why some people come onto these kinds of sites, think about the person as a person. Not some judgement by the almighty and all knowing you. Someone who has feeling and reactions and a purpose to life and every right to be on this little sphere we call earth as much as you do. So next time you’re on someone else’s tumblr who you have no idea who they are why don’t you think about their situation for at least a second or two before you decide to post an anon hate. Because when you do, you’re becoming the people who you are judging. You become a part of the human race that is degrading it and running it to the ground. And hey I’m sure plenty of you people who do leave anon hate a decent people. But its never okay to judge a person by four posts that were written in some of the most rage filled or even heart crushing times. Maybe instead of filling others inbox’s with anon hate, youres should be. Then we’ll see how much more you do it. Oh and by the way, i have never left anon hate. If i have a problem with someone, which i rarely do to strangers on tumblr, i let them know who has a problem with them.
I tried to walk away. I tried to let go. I tried because at first I tried to stay in contact. It ended up horrible. I said things I shouldn’t have said, and for that I am truly sorry. But when I tried to walk away I couldn’t. I couldn’t let go of every memory, every feeling, every thing that made us think we were perfect, and everything that made me love you more. Now all I can get is the occasional eye lock, not a hello or goodbye or even any sort of actual communication. Just the occasional glance, and in that glance I get every feeling, every love rushing back. My heart tries to reach out, but gets stuffed back. I tried to not like you, to let you go, to discard you from my life, but I can’t. I fell too deep, and now I can’t get back to the surface, let alone my own two feet. So I look away. From you, who probably hates me; because of what I caused. Some may say I was justified, others may say I’m just another douchebag. Its almost been two months, I still haven’t pieced my heart and my life back together; I may never be able to. So for now this is a good as it has to be. A post on a website that you will probably never read. A website you yourself have begun to stop using. Maybe in the future I’ll be able to figure it out. Maybe I’ll be able to piece my heart back together and love again. But for now, I don’t see a way.
Youres,
Carl
Once upon a time there was a gay couple driving home one winter day. The day before it had snowed And there was still snow on the ground. Suddenly the couple hot a patch of ice and tragically died. When they wen to heaven they said, “Thank you God for making us gay and enabling us to see true love.” God looked at them puzzled and said, “Well you better not be thanking me for long… You’re going to hell. Should’ve read the bible kiddos!” The End
I remember the days when I used to mean the whole world to someone. The days that I used to hear that that person couldn’t think of a life without me. The days she said i was the reason she continued to live. The days that person said i was the reason they kept living for. The days that person said i always brought a smile to their face and said i always made their day better. The days that I heard that I saved their life and without me they were nothing. I remember how my phone used to be use everyday and that I would send and receive texts by the hundreds daily. I remember how my and their heart would race when we saw each other. I remember how we used to just sit down and stare at each other, call each other and talk for hours, and always wait till the next time we got see each other. I remember when I used to mean the whole world and more to someone. Now all I am is a name in their phone. I remember the days… and I’m still living the days that all I am is memories.
She used to post all those things about me. She used to say that her heart was mine. She was gone in a week and now shes given it to someone else. Thing is, i still don’t have mine back. I gave it to her and when i said i would never want it back, i meant it. So there it lies on the ground where she left it, waiting for the day that someone will come and pick it up and care for it like it used to be.
